Saturday, November 28, 2009

Eight Months of Worry

Have taken their toll on me. I am now resolved to retire and apply on disability in the Summer.

Still, concerns of financial problems cropping up have me wishy washy about the whole thing. We have not cleared away the bills as I had hoped two years ago. The banks have seen to that, and they are getting worse as times go on.

On the bright side I have had a couple of reassurances from Higher Up that things will turn out well, or at least for the best:

The Two Dreams
Seemed like a place in Elmira, but we didn't own it. My mother was part of the dream, as if we were both staying there by ourselves.

Outside in the street a large rig, like a semi was almost clogging the street and parked itself. I remember seeing how huge it was as I stood near it. Then, people came out of it, like a large family. I think they were in the back, but that wasn't really important to the dream.
My mom or I invited them into the small place upstairs. We all crowded into the living room, everyone sitting in different spots. The children were becoming restless and it broke my heart, so I offered them something to eat. My mother looked at me and asked what we thought we were going to feed them. I didn't have an answer, so I went into the kitchen to check.
The place was pretty bereft of cooking utensils, and the fridge had very little. Somehow, I figured I could put together something from the freezer and some buns. But the freezer was all frosted over and the shelves were broken. I asked my mother about it, and she sort of shrugged. We began digging into the rime, which came away easily.
First I found a packet of a little meat, not very fancy, like hunter's venison. I thawed it and threw it into the oven. While I was scrounging for more, some of the children came to me and whined for food. Their mother or mothers pulled them away into the living room.
This again tore my heart, and I shouted after them, trying to console them. "We will manage! No one will go hungry."
In the meantime, the little steak seemed to be enough for four or five people, so we carved it and sent it out. Immediately we found another packet, but probably the last one, in the frost.
When I thawed that one, it was too large for the little pan we found, so we had to spread it out on a cookie sheet.
There would certainly be enough, and we would not need to scrounge for more. I could smell bread, so I guess my mom was baking, too.
At that point, I realized that we were in a "loaves and fishes" situation, and everything was much brighter.
No one would go hungry.
Right after that, I found myself in a thrown-together church, meeting in a gymnasium. The church where I was baptised was for the longest while just like that.
We were praying when the person behind me grabbed my arm. When I looked, a lady (apparently someone from my childhood) looked startled and pointed out that she wasn't touching me.
At that moment I was lifted up to the ceiling, with everyone watching. I was estatic, as was the entire congregation. We all praised God, and I floated back down again. No one was frightened by the happening, and we finished out service. Incidentally, I mentioned that the ceiling was acoustic tile, and that they should be replaced. That was just a strange aside.
Afterwards a senior woman came to me, and jokingly told me, "Now maybe you can bless our restroom, because it's a disaster!"
I thought that was a sensible thing to try, so I went upstairs in the back of the gym, and there was indeed a restroom. It was very old, with a huge tub, the sort for just soaking things, like a washer-room tub, for clothes. It was filled to the brim with water, almost overflowing.
Everyone around me was going about their business, the way that athletes do after or before a game. All the women ignored me, because they were busy.
I stared at the brimming tub, and was struck by the notion that there indeed was plenty of water for the blessing.
What it all means is anyones guess, but I woke in a cheery mood.
Now if the Banks were only run by believers in God, we'd be all set. Alas, it is obvious that this is not so. One can only imagine how this is affecting those less fortunate.
And I actually saw a car dealer bragging that they were Pioneers in Sub-Prime Lending!
The evil of it just gives me the willies.