Sunday, January 29, 2006

For the Record

Need to go on record that I've dropped some of my meds. The insurance won't pay enough to justify incomplete therapy. One is Sanctura for incontinence. Never worked well and required fasting, before and after. And I still needed protection. Been off for days and things are pretty much the same. Except for one thing: constipation is gone. What's up with that? It was the same for Detrol--the main reason I quit it, too. Out with them both! A $50 per month copay is too much for something that works only sometimes.

Nexium is next. I'd run out of Nexium and worried about relapsing. Last time I did, I was good and sick. And had damage to prove it. So I took Prilosec OTC to bridge the gap to payday. About four days. And it began to dawn on me that I felt fine. So I could pay $50 for one month of Nexium, or I could buy a 42 day supply of Prilosec OTC for less than $25. And I've returned to making and eating chili! Hah!

Only thing I miss is the slight--what is it?--relaxation I got from the Sanctura. Was it a muscle relaxant?

Oh, yeah, and my GP may not be happy with my self-prescription. Sanctura is not his worry. But the Nexium is. Lord, I hate having so many doctors. Only three and they are way too many. By the way, my newest doctor, the neurologist, has left the practice. Heh. Didn't much like him anyhow.

So now I have a nurse practitioner for OBGYN, a nurse practitioner for Neuro, and a GP. I'm up for it. Let's see if they are.

Update: Jan 30. Ms. Susan Walker and I got along well. Though I probably talked her ear off. We will experiment with no drug, maybe Detrol again, then maybe Ditropan. She also sees some deterioration, but I am less brittle about it with her. May never be normal, but I'll always be the same me. That "me" is somewhat grumpy about blunt pronouncements, sometimes.

Little Pond

Sunday, January 22, 2006


What do you think?

Redesign by Karen of Scottsdale. Link for her profile to the right, and further down, to her main site, "The View from My Chair." Not really outside the Little Pond anymore, but I haven't found le mot juste to describe it in relation to the Little Pond. You can look for her button on the sidebar.

And the brandished walking stick? Faithful readers may remember this post from last year. I never did buy a new one from the Art and Frame shop, but will reconsider come the nice weather. In all likelihood. I have one other, but it is masculine with a large rock atop the handle. A sturdier deal for real hiking (and some self defense), not city stuff.

Couldn't part with the green theme, and thanks to my Blogsister, I won't. But this is brighter and more consistent with the colors I prefer. Cheerier, too. Love it!

Little Pond

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Grand Rounds!

My Favorite Practitioner, GruntDoc is hosting Grand Rounds this week!

One topic caught my eye. Way, way, back in the day, I volunteered for Birthright of Annapolis. Clients who'd previously had abortions were wistful and sad, or sometimes hostile or defensive. My heart still aches for those girls, and for their boyfriends. If this speaks to you, please contact Project Rachel. I recall "Joy Comes in the Mourning" that was similar, but can no longer find info on it.

I love you all, and am still praying for you. My soul still hurts for your ongoing pain.

Little Pond

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Go for Walk?

One beautiful day. And that was all. But Ellie got her walk. Twice. This is why it is so difficult not to gain weight in the winter.

For either of us. When Ellie comes to GrammaDog's house we walk everyday. Twice, if I don't become lame from the morning walk. Quite often, I do. It's easy to overdo in the winter. We are all bundled up and barely able to feel our limbs. The cold on my legs wreaks havoc that makes me lame for hours.

And this week I have a cold virus, complete with headache, chills and cough. But we still walk. At least once a day. Because it's not all bundling that makes us look fat.

Photo courtesy of GrampaDog, our own Husband RJ.

Little Pond
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Friday, January 13, 2006

Depending on One's Partner

This week a thought is percolating through my subconscious: people who need incontinent pads should gladly use them.

A friend is fighting his need for Depends. I understand but do not approve. Incontinence affects others. My coworkers are supportive (Note: I’m not exempt from being busted about it!). This is not license to head home every time I have an accident. It does, however, give me permission to run home should I use up my supplies. No questions asked, and no explanations offered. It’s great.

My friend relies on his partner to help him when he’s caught off guard. And this is very inconvenient for them both. For said partner, this is a reflection of his devotion. A love offering, freely given. That is good, maybe even holy.

And yet. My friend insists he does not need “diapers.” He is a grown man, he bellows. Well, I was a grown woman ten years ago, and I think I still am. My partner has better things to do than potty me in some very nearly public places and situations. Not when protection enables us to hurry to the nearest facilities.

I asked his partner to deliver a message: Get over it and get some Depends. The sooner you do, the sooner it will become routine and bearable. It did for me; it will for you. Both.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I'm supposed to be watching the Wedding Crashers.

A workmate lent it to me, and is eagerly awaiting my reaction. But of course. Cutie Owen Wilson always puts the best spin on any guy flick, even for me.

However, I got all caught up in a screed posted in the Little Pond. No movie today, gotta blog.

Went looking for Grand Rounds, and found a few things while I was at it:

It just isn't blogging time until I visit the Instapundit. He's been posting a bit, here and there, about multiple love partners. And here's his latest. It's all great in theory. Who wouldn't want a dozen adoring darlings at one's beck and call? I'm rather partial to the concept of serial monogamy myself, if we could all just get along...

Seriously, I personally witnessed polyamory in communes at the end of the free-love era. Some rather high-minded individuals tried to make it work. But nearly always, somewhere in the web, someone wants more exclusivity. Especially when children become involved. Never seen it survive from there. Open marriage is an oxymoron and cannot work. Never seen one work, myself. Years and years ago, I was invited once, strangely enough. What a weird feeling to realize I was being weighed and discussed in this manner! Apparently each was trying to please the other. Not for me. Nice couple, though. Kinda flattering, in a way.

Uh, where was I? Grand Rounds. So I visited GruntDoc and found them, but not before I was diverted by the Gunner post. While I'm definitely not a gunner, I was more of an A type before my diagnosis. Smelling the roses has since become more important to me, whilst I can still walk up to them. Competing over them is definitely out.

This item in Grand Rounds spoke to me. My weight gain is the normal getting older thing, right down to the extra around the middle at fifty. Input, outgo. Eat much? Exercise much. And it's simple, but not easy. Got the rest of my life to learn.

One more soapbox item, also from Grand Rounds. I call it Serves Them Right. In the late sixties, a junior high school teacher was carefully explaining how totally accessible abortion would improve motherhood in the end. The women who weren't motherly would weed themselves out of the gene pool. In a few decades, only truly motherly (mothersome?) women would be left to have children. Yeah, right. That never happened, and never will. Abortion will nearly always be a coerced decision. "Can't afford to have a child." "Hun doesn't want children." "My parents would kill me." "Raped." "Snookered." "Star-struck, but now back to reality." Never did it occur to me that in some parts of the world babies would be destroyed because they were the wrong sex. There are only two sexes; how could one be wrong? Wrong enough to be slaughtered in utero? Appalling. Can't wrap my brain around it.

Anyway, back to Grand Round. For me, I mean. So much good stuff, so little time before my midday nap...

Little Pond

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

It's still not too late for a flu shot!

I know this from personal experience. Twice in the past I have been prevented from getting a shot by rescheduling, forgetting or even simple neglect/procrastination in the fall. And those of us with immune disorders or chronic lung problems can still get a flu shot. I've gone as late as February.

For the past two years, my general practitioner at Guthrie Clinic in Pine City, has insisted I get a shot early and often. Well, just early. And every year influenza makes at least two runs through the paper. The typical season starts in November and goes right through April. The last two years, shots were scheduled, then cancelled, in the workplace. Both times, I followed up with innoculation at the Guthrie.

Influenza leaves an awful mark at the paper, where we are really spread too thin at the get-go. The loss of worker-days makes a huge load in those departments already understaffed. And our deadlines are absolute; there must be a paper every single day. Because I get the shot, I become the fallback who must carry the extra work nearly every time. Nice job for an MSer. Makes me feel like Superwoman. Only I'm not.

This past Christmas week I carried the work of two other people, due to vacation (use it or lose it) and illness (the flu season has started without the Gannett-sponsored clinic). Seven straight nights of overwork: I am still exhausted after two days off. It is now 2006, so I cannot use three+ days of vacation. It's just the way it's been at the paper. The use-it-or-lose-it vacationer has lost even more. We'll get over it.

Wednesday I return to what I hope will be a fully-staffed workplace. But illness isn't the only drain on our staff, and I expect at least one person, who is having personal problems, to be less than optimal. And the flu-carrier has already struck. Can't wait to see the results.

Do your family and coworkers a favor, and get a flu shot. Please.

Little Pond (Hey, head over and see our redesign!)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Resolution for the New Year?

After a holiday season of working too many hours, I am ready to post my resolution.
Yeah, only one.

To keep blogging.

It isn't the release from having an outlet. Not an unselfish desire to share information and techniques for coping with MS. I don't have it sussed; just chatting, really.

I just enjoy blogging.

Blogging brings new friends. Makes me feel a bit more fulfilled than otherwise. Making a mark. Not much of a mark, but my mark on the world. Not as a wife, or a daughter, or a mother, or an employee, or a patient. Just a blogger with other bloggers, reading, responding, writing. Our community. My community.

So I'll blog on.

Little Pond