MidWinter Blahs

...are the rule, now. Everyone around me is grouchy and/or telling me about their physical complaints. Like I have none, or like I will want to hear their organ recital...

I feel great. Mostly recovered from the Copaxone hiatus. Getting outdoors with the HuggaMutt and doing some strenuous walking.

The snow facilitates the strenuous part. I carry a cell phone, so fear of falling isn't it. Still, it's essential to keep the CuddleBum off leash as much as is legal, because she will get underfoot or pull me off-balance.

A fellow dog-owner told me it's because we are two-legged, and the dogs have four wheel drive.

He's exactly right.

pb
Little Pond

Grumpy this morning

I had a horrible nightmare just before I woke this morning.

In the dream I had a new neurologist. The woman surprised me with a pair of leg braces. She didn't consult with me about it, it was just her policy. I helplessly obeyed.

Now, I know (or used to know) braces very well. My youngest brother wore them for Legges-Perthes, a disease more commonly known as hip dysplasia, and even more commonly known today as a disease in pets. My brother wore a long brace on one leg and a ridiculously built-up shoe on the other.

Furthermore, I worked for a short while in a company that made orthotics, or braces for humans, and prosthetics. At that time we saw plenty of children and teenagers forced to wear similar (or even worse) braces. It still pains me to remember my little brother stuck in those things, and in awful pain when he was not.

The braces in my dream were regular leg braces for people who could not properly lock their knees while walking. It is no coincidence that this is one of my worrisome tendencies. My dream-self checked for drop-foot bracing, but there was none. Another problem I have (at times like now, when I am stressed) is not being able to pick up the front of my foot. It causes some of the most spectacular crashes when I am out with Ellie. She can recognize the sound of such a "trip," and scoots away, with tail tucked under her bum.

My dream self noted with satisfaction that I did not yet need a drop-foot brace. She strapped the braces into place and tried to stand up.

That's when I woke up, rolled out of the side of the bed, and went downstairs as fast as I could.

I grabbed the railing very tightly on the way down.

pb
Little Pond

Snow clogged arbor.

If you were a local, dear Reader, you would know that this is an arbor that doesn't produce grapes for either eating or fermenting.

Grape vines are ruthlessly pruned down to a few very bare branches in the wine making world.

We will regret out laziness. The supporting structure is bowing under the weight of the snow.

But RJ and I can no longer drink much wine or even eat the grapes. Our only regret will be the repairs that are forthcoming.

Under all this snow is ice. On the roads and walkways.

Itty bitty baby steps will be the norm for Ellie and my walk this morning.

Update 9 AM: There is only about a foot of snow. But the frigid temps are cancelling all sorts of stuff.

pb
Little Pond

Getting Back to Normal

Restarted Copaxone on Tuesday, and am better.

Feet feel nasty and squishy and legs were restless and "wet" all night. Numbness hangs on in hands and face and the incontinence has me in the bathroom more than every hour.

Lots of work to do to clean up all the messes that occurred while I was extremely subpar. This includes home repair, financial-disaster checks, and cooking. Trying to be nice to poor RJ, who had to put up with a lot. Even at work, they tell me it's time to quit bitching, that I sound like a yenta.

Am cooking: vegetarian chili and creamy spinach soup.
Am shopping: RJ and I are giving each other fancy pillows for Valentine's Day. Romantic, eh?
Am exercising: HuggaMutt is here for the first time since I started really having troubles. We didn't want her stuck in the house during the cold spell.

Big DVD and gaming weekend ahead!

pb
Little Pond

Going on six days

beyond my prescription. I saved one for a couple days and used it Saturday, but essentially I've been out of Copaxone six days now.

• Fatigue replaces being tired.
• My neck is extremely sore and stiff.
• The numbness is climbing up my legs, as it does during an exacerbation.
• I've lost my sense of balance, and must use a cane, and not a walking stick, to steady myself, even around the house
• The ring of tingly numbness around my eyes is making a reappearance.

What was I writing about?

Oh, yes. The lack of Copaxone.

• My memory has gone straight to hell.

I guess this is an endorsement of Copaxone. They should get it in by tomorrow.

pb
Little Pond

BHM

Quick.

Name a famous black MSer.

Now go to Little Pond for BHM entry of the weekend.

pb
Little Pond

Need Help from Game Geeks!!!

We have an old copy of Torin's Passage, that was a favorite of my daughters when they were little. It will not play on any computer or console, now.

I assume we need some sort of simulator. Help, anyone?

Leave a comment and I will answer.

Now what?

This week I lost my local Copaxone supplier and my neurologist.

The neurologist simply vanished, the way that neurologists do, here in Upstate New York. I was told that it is just too hard to work ethically here. People come from all over the country to scam our Disability System. They bring lawyers to help them.

May they roast in Hell from one Eternity to the next. That means that those of us who really need doctors can't get them when we need them.

My drugstore informed me that I cannot get Copaxone from them anymore. I must order from out of state. So far, I am having no luck. At least I haven't heard back from the one listed as my new supplier. They informed me that they were not what the Insurance designates them to be. Why doesn't anyone want to supply Copaxone?

Already I am having problems. Apparently the drug was working, because I am having very painful spasms in my arms and legs, and the fatigue is becoming almost unbearable.

But I expect we will work out something soon.

pb
Little Pond